Saturday, February 2, 2013

Recovery

Well recovery from laproscopic surgery has been going fairly well. It's been two weeks and I don't need to take any of the pain medicine, although I do still have pain.
I don't feel quite up to snuff yet, and it's beginning to grate on me. I want to be hooping, going to my riding lessons, and taking up jogging/walking/running again. I had so much fun at the hot chocolate 5k, and would like to be able to keep up with Rubarb3point14, some day.

I feel conflicted about the incisions. Some days I don't care about them, other days I am horrified by them, and feel like my belly has been mildly disfigured.  I am going to try to make an effort to slather them in scar lotion or whatever, to try to minimize their obviousness. It isn't like I wear midriff shirts or show off my pudgy belly often, so it's not like anyone is going to see the scars regularly other than Husbeast. It still bothers me a little.
And then I feel a little sheepish about it, other people have way worse scars, mine are minimal and can be easily hidden.

But comparison like that is incredibly useless, and I hate it when other people do it. Just because someone else has a worse problem doesn't mean yours isn't valid.
Knowing other people have worse scars doesn't change the fact that I am occasionally bothered by mine. It doesn't help me deal, it just serves to make me feel bad. And I shouldn't. Having feelings about scars is legitimate. I have permanent marks where once there were none.

I also feel conflicted because I chose to have surgery, so do I have the right to whine about surgery scars? I could have lived with the cysts, they weren't malignant, and didn't hurt all the time. The surgery was technically optional. So I feel guilty for occasionally being upset about the incisions.

But aside from impatience and angst, I'm doing well.

1 comment:

TronG said...

Hi,

Random comment, I know, but I found your blog via Ashley's (married to her best friend from high school). Anyways, I've gone through this twice. Once was a straight up laparoscopy to remove endometriosis back in 2010 and the second was a full laparotomy (smiley face) to remove the chocolate cysts in 2011. I lost part of my left ovary in that one and am now considered to have "diminished ovarian reserve." I do want to say that the scars are barely noticeable 1.5 years out and the operations were worth it to me because we want(ed) children (now pregnant with what will likely be our only child).

I found the first operation the most difficult to recover from, despite being less serious, but I would give it another month or so before you're feeling up to snuff again. Don't feel pressured to do too much, because it can make recovery worse.

Anyways, I'm sorry you had to experience this (elective or not!) and I hope your quality of life improves as a result.