Well recovery from laproscopic surgery has been going fairly well. It's been two weeks and I don't need to take any of the pain medicine, although I do still have pain.
I don't feel quite up to snuff yet, and it's beginning to grate on me. I want to be hooping, going to my riding lessons, and taking up jogging/walking/running again. I had so much fun at the hot chocolate 5k, and would like to be able to keep up with Rubarb3point14, some day.
I feel conflicted about the incisions. Some days I don't care about them, other days I am horrified by them, and feel like my belly has been mildly disfigured. I am going to try to make an effort to slather them in scar lotion or whatever, to try to minimize their obviousness. It isn't like I wear midriff shirts or show off my pudgy belly often, so it's not like anyone is going to see the scars regularly other than Husbeast. It still bothers me a little.
And then I feel a little sheepish about it, other people have way worse scars, mine are minimal and can be easily hidden.
But comparison like that is incredibly useless, and I hate it when other people do it. Just because someone else has a worse problem doesn't mean yours isn't valid.
Knowing other people have worse scars doesn't change the fact that I am occasionally bothered by mine. It doesn't help me deal, it just serves to make me feel bad. And I shouldn't. Having feelings about scars is legitimate. I have permanent marks where once there were none.
I also feel conflicted because I chose to have surgery, so do I have the right to whine about surgery scars? I could have lived with the cysts, they weren't malignant, and didn't hurt all the time. The surgery was technically optional. So I feel guilty for occasionally being upset about the incisions.
But aside from impatience and angst, I'm doing well.